Wearing a Toddler or Preschooler

Toddler-Wearing-Oklahoma

This post continues the ages and stages babywearing series.  If you would like to learn more about newborn babywearing, wearing an infant until they’re able to sit up on their own, or wearing an older infant in to toddlerhood check out my earlier posts.

Babywearing in to toddlerhood and beyond is a great way to bond with your child.  It’s also a good way to build your core muscles.  Newly walking legs get tired easily.  When you can grab a carrier and put your child up on your back it can save everyone’s sanity when you are on vacation, visiting a theme park, hiking, at a festival, and more.  Babywearing also allows you to be able to go to places that strollers aren’t permitted and allows your child to interact more closely with you and the world on your eye level.

image

Babywearing while hiking on the Oregon coast.  Woven wraps are warmer for hikes than a soft structure carrier but can be more supportive as well.

I have children who have had sensory defensive issues (the part of sensory processing disorder that makes them really want to push away/not participate in highly sensory situations).  We really enjoy going to festivals.

image

 

My middle son (pictured above) enjoyed the people but didn’t enjoy the noises.  Wearing him helped him be able to interact on a level he was comfortable as well as receive the calming sensation of being wrapped snuggly (like a big hug as my children have described babywearing when they’ve had more words). My oldest son was extremely shy.  Babywearing allowed him to turn his head in to me when he didn’t want to interact and people were more respective of his space when I was wearing him (though not always but it was easier for me to tell he needed a break).

Babywearing children with special circumstances and needs can be extremely helpful for their mental and emotional well-being as well as yours (being able to provide the extra snuggles which also helps release oxytocin which soothes and promotes bonding).

image

Babywearing (toddler wearing) can be very soothing when your child is upset or hurt

Toddler wearing is also very helpful to soothe bumps and bruises and fits by offering additional comfort (while being a little easier on your body and arms than holding in arms when baby begins growing larger and heavier).  Toddlers are also notorious for falling asleep in the car RIGHT before you reach your destination.  Babywearing can be a great way to help meet your child’s needs (and allow them to continue sleeping) and your needs to make it on time to your appointments!

image

Toddlers are notorious for falling asleep right before you reach your destination!

Babywearing can also be a great way to keep little curious hands out of danger but caution should always be taken to watch what those hands are grabbing while you are wearing baby on your back.  This little gal (below) had recently split her head open.  She goes to a lot of conferences and events with me.  Babywearing has helped me to keep her calm while I’m working and also keep her safe too.

image

So what carriers are good for toddlers and preschoolers?

It’s important to keep YOUR child’s needs in mind.  After baby is 2+ the spread squat positioning isn’t quite as important but it’s the normal position for the hips so best practices are that you continue to support that position.  If baby has hip dysplasia or is at higher risk that position is very important to support. It’s important to counsel with your doctor and physical therapist if your child has special circumstances or needs so that you may be able to meet those as well as caring for their medical situations.

  • Woven wraps can always support that position through spreading the wrap to hit knee to knee. Try different lengths-shorter wraps won’t be quite as supportive (using fewer passes over baby) but may be quicker to wrap if your child likes to get up and down a lot.  Shorter wraps are also easier to tuck in a diaper bag or even in your stroller if you go back and forth between wearing and baby strolling.
  • Soft structure carriers and more structured carriers (like mei tais) may not support this position anymore because likely the panel isn’t wide enough any longer unless you purchase a toddler or preschooler specific carrier or one with stirrups (such as the Boba carrier).  Also, it’s likely at this stage that your child has outgrown the height of the panel as well.  If it doesn’t reach the base of their arms (where their arm meets their body) or higher up on their back the carrier is not considered tall enough any longer.  There is a fall and lean back risk even if your child usually does not lean backwards.

    image

    This is the first time that my oldest “made cookies” with me.  Babywearing allowed me to mix cookies while keeping him secure in a new environment he hadn’t been in before.

  • Ring slings may be ok for a few minutes here and there but many parents find that their back will get really tired using one for more than a few minutes.
image

Babywearing is great for all!  Even Yoda! (This is a meme that is often passed around online.  I don’t have a photo credit but if you know who made it I would love to credit them!)

I teach best practices for positioning for all babies because suboptimal positioning puts baby at risk for possible hip/spine issues down the road.  Like how drinking alcohol doesn’t ALWAYS cause liver disease or smoking doesn’t ALWAYS cause lung cancer the benefits and risks should be weighed when making decisions.  The risk is there and I recommend minimizing that risk.

I am a Boba Ambassador.  I do not receive payment from Boba but will occasionally receive new products and updates from time to time.  I am a Boba Ambassador because I believe in their products.  For more information about this as well my other disclosures please visit this page.

If you’re in the Oklahoma City area and would like some hands on babywearing help please contact me or visit my website.

What is your favorite carrier for a toddler or preschooler?

Surviving Growth Spurts

growthspurt

Growth spurts happen a lot with your baby.  I get a lot of questions about growth spurts and what to expect or symptoms that baby is showing that are very common with growth spurts.  Often, breastfeeding professionals and mother-to-mother support group leaders will refer to these times as “frequency days” or sometimes even “fussy days.”

While a growth spurt can occur at any time they typically occur at about 7-10 days, 2-3 weeks, 4 weeks, 6 weeks, 3 months, 4 months, 6 months, 9 months, and really any other time.  They continue to happen about every 2-3 months through toddlerhood and periodically through to teenage years.  Your baby’s only way to communicate is through crying and baby will often communicate that something is wrong.  Growth spurts can be painful for baby (breast milk has pain relieving properties for babies and the oxytocin released when you breastfeed helps calm you both).  They can just be a confusing time or a time that baby’s brain is growing and not necessarily their body as much.  One nice thing about a growth spurt is if baby is having a fussy day and you’d rather stay home and relax together you can always blame a growth spurt!

Quite often mom will recognize something is different about baby but not quite pin point it to being a growth spurt.  Here are some signs that baby may be having a growth spurt:

  • Baby is nursing more frequently than usual (Do note though that it’s common to have a growth spurt at around 4-6 weeks and this is around the time that mothers will notice their breasts feeling much less full.  This is usually not an indicator that you’re not producing enough milk but this is a concern many mothers have).
  • Baby is fussy even after nursing.
  • Baby seems inconsolable.

While all of these can be signs of other issues, if your baby is gaining weight and has plenty of wet and poopy diapers it is very often a growth spurt.  Another possibility is over-stimulation if the crankiness is happening after being around a lot of new people or things, in the evening, or after being outside for a while.  If baby is about 3-4 months or older it could be teething causing these issues.  More on this in a later post.

Please also remember that your breast milk is usually enough.  If you have any doubts about your supply please be sure to check out this post.  Baby will start nursing more frequently on these days because baby is putting in an order for more milk later.  Imagine that it’s a Friday night and you know you want to have a pizza delivered at 6 PM.  Friday nights are really busy at the pizza delivery restaurant.  If you wait until 5:30 to order they might not be able to deliver or even have a pizza ready for you to pick up until 7 or 8!  Since you’ve probably had that experience before you know that you need to call in earlier so your food arrives when you’re ready for it (and hungry!).  When baby starts nursing more frequently they are phoning in their order for more milk later.

So how do you survive when baby can’t seem to get enough?  Here are some ideas to try:

Surviving growth spurt meme.png

A little more about the “nest.”  I help mothers that attend my breastfeeding classes prepare what I call their “nest” before baby arrives so that they can have everything easily at hand whenever baby wants to nurse.  Many mothers find that having everything close at hand (and having a little box or container to carry everything room to room as needed) helps to be able to sit down and nurse comfortably whenever baby shows early cues rather than going through the house to hurry and grab a snack, the remote, water bottle, etc.  By the time all of those items are gathered baby may be crying and harder to get to latch well and begin nursing.

Something else that you may find helpful is to have a good breastfeeding book.  I really love the Womanly Art of Breastfeeding and Breastfeeding Made Simple.  A lot of parents also enjoy The Wonder Weeks because it helps predict when baby may be going through a growth spurt or another developmental leap.  Remember that babies haven’t read the instruction manuals so not every baby follows the books exactly as they’re written but they can be reassuring even still.

One last thing I want to note is on dinner and snacks.  It’s so important to take care of YOU during a growth spurt.  Having easy snacks and maybe an easy meal that you can eat one handed while nursing can be very helpful.  It’s very common for babies to be crankier at night during growth spurts so having dinner taken care of is helpful.  You can always call in a favor to a friend that offered help, have some freezer meals on hand that just need to be heated up or baked, or have some crockpot meals on hand that you just need to throw in the crock pot the day of.  We really enjoyed having a couple of whole chickens in the freezer so we could throw one in our crock pot all day with some baby carrots and some other veggies we had on hand with salt and pepper, garlic powder, onion powder, and whatever other seasonings we had on hand that we like.  It would take me about 5 minutes to throw it all in and I didn’t have to worry about dinner.

I offer breastfeeding and babywearing consultations and classes in Oklahoma City, Yukon, and Mustang.  If you’re interested in learning more, you can visit my website, or contact me.

What do you do to survive growth spurts?

Watch the Baby, Not the Clock

watchbabynotclock

After my last post, you may wonder if it’s better to watch baby or the clock.  A sleeping baby usually only needs to be woken up if there is special circumstances once they have gained back to birth weight.  Breastfeeding is so very intuitive.  We are very procedural and scientific as a society and we are very concerned about numbers.  This is helpful in some ways, especially to make sure that baby is thriving and not having breastfeeding struggles.  In other ways it sometimes gets in the way of what is normal and natural about the ART that is breastfeeding.

Healthy, full-term babies can tell YOU when they’re hungry.

You should expect that baby will continue to want to nurse 8-12 times per day approximately in the first six months.  Unlike with formula, baby will continue to get approximately the same amount of milk at the breast until baby begins eating solid food.

Feedings will eventually become shorter but still work on supply and demand.  Many mechanisms in our bodies work in cycles.  Breastfeeding is no different.  It’s very normal for milk supply to be higher in the morning and lower in the evenings.  It’s very normal for baby to want to nurse more frequently in the evenings and even to be fussy (more on this in a later post).

Scheduled feedings based on a certain time came because someone took the average of 8-12 feedings per day and decided to break that up on a clock.  Because our bodies (baby’s as well as mom’s) don’t work on a strict schedule but more of a routine, this can cause breastfeeding issues when you limit feedings based on certain times.  Certain baby programs meant to train and discipline babies highly discourage feeding more often than a set amount of time (usually more often than every 2 or 4 hours) and also discourage feedings longer than a specified amount of time (usually 15 or 20 minutes).  All babies are different in their efficiency, breasts are different in how often let-downs occur (where baby gets the majority of the milk in a feeding), and some babies have a stronger sucking need than others.  All people are different.  We all have different appetites.  We all expect meals at a certain time to some degree but if we get hungry most people will have a snack when they start to feel hungry.  If you wake up thirsty during the night you will get up and drink some water rather than say “Only 2 more hours until I’m allowed another sip of water.”  Babies are the same in that regard.  Babies will fall in to a routine eventually and following baby’s cues helps keep breastfeeding going in the most optimal way.

Because we don’t have graduations like a bottle on our breasts and can’t see how much milk baby is actually getting in there are some good indicators to help you know that baby is getting enough.  The most important keys to watch for to be sure that baby is nursing frequently enough and getting enough milk are:

  • Watch for early feeding cues: rooting, smacking/sucking noises, bringing hand to mouth, and in the early days just waking up.  Don’t wait for baby to cry-it will be harder for baby  to latch on and baby may become so tired that they may not nurse as effectively.
feedingcues

Early feeding cues include bringing hands to mouth and making smacking noises.  This is my daughter when she was just a couple of weeks old.

  • Diaper counts: by the end of the first week expect to see at least 6-8 wet diapers and 3 poopy diapers.  At about 6 weeks baby may have less stools and this is normal.  Some babies may go less than once a day at about 6 weeks and may go as infrequently as once a week or up to 2 weeks and be healthy.  If you have concerns, talk to your baby’s doctor and see a breastfeeding professional.
  • Weight gain: Baby should gain at least 5-7 oz per week after getting back to birth weight.  Baby should be back to birth weight by 10 days, 2 weeks at the latest.
  • When baby finishes a feeding (baby should usually be allowed to finish the feeding by coming off when he/she is finished) his/her hands and body will be more relaxed.  Babies often have fists at the beginning of the feeding and relax as their stomachs are filled.

If you have supply concerns some helpful ideas are to:

  • Check latch-if it’s painful an assessment by an IBCLC is important.
  • Let baby finish a breast, burp, then offer the other breast.  Following babies cues is important as is getting enough breast stimulation so that you continue having a good supply.
  • Nurse baby on cue as long as baby wishes.
  • Take away pacifiers and extra bottles, if baby needs a supplement consider an at-breast supplementer or work on paced bottle feeding to simulate how your breast delivers milk.  If you have supply concerns, all suckling should be at the breast.
  • Skin-to-skin contact as long and as much as possible during the day.
  • RELAX!  Stress can inhibit your let-down and make you not feel the best.
  • And above all, get professional help and support.  Mother-to-mother support groups and volunteers can be extremely helpful as well.
  • A very helpful book is Breastfeeding Mother’s Guide to Making More Milk.

 

For further reading see:

What cues does your baby give to let you know that he/she is hungry?

I offer breastfeeding and babywearing classes and consultations in Oklahoma City, Yukon, and Mustang.  If you would like more information please contact me or visit my website.

What to Expect in the Early Days of Breastfeeding

earlydays

To learn more about getting breastfeeding off to a good start and know what to expect in the first two hours postpartum please see my earlier post in this What to Expect series.  You can also learn more about what to expect that first night home from the hospital (regardless of the timing of that due to a normal vaginal birth, surgical birth, or bringing a preemie home) here.  To learn more about days 2-7 postpartum please see this post.

Now that you’re home from the hospital, your milk has transitioned and is changing to more mature milk, and you’re starting to get to know your baby more you may start to feel a little bit of a groove and your baby may be starting to get more of a routine (or not!).  Your husband or partner may be back to work or may have a little more time off.  You no longer have the call button that you had at the hospital and now is the time to call in those favors that everyone left (“If you need anything let me know.”).  Postpartum is the best time to learn to ask for those favors because taking care of you and your baby are the top priorities, even over dinner. I recommend during pregnancy creating a list of duties, chores, errands, and meal preparation so that when someone is visiting you can encourage them to do a task before getting to see baby.  In many other cultures outside of the United States women have some type of a “laying in” period that other women come and take care of the household chores so mother can feed baby frequently and work on recovering.  A wise midwife, who “caught” my third baby (Lisa Lehrer in Corvallis, Oregon), encouraged me to stay down as much as I was able in the first 2-4 weeks postpartum and promised me that if I did I would feel much better at 6 months postpartum than if I had been running errands, doing chores, etc.  She was absolutely correct.  I felt MUCH better with her at six months postpartum than I did with my first two children.

helpinglistthumbnail

Check out my FREE printable helping list!

At this point your baby may begin sleeping up to a 4 hour stretch during the day or night (maybe, it’s totally normal not to have a stretch for a while though).  If baby is gaining well and having enough diapers letting baby sleep is usually ok.  You may need to wake up a sleepy baby though if your baby is not up to birth weight by 10 days or has lost more than 10% of their birth weight, is jaundiced, or was premature or has special circumstances.  If you need to wake baby up, and baby is difficult to arouse, here are some ideas to help:

Ideas to help wake baby up

One other note that is important in the first two weeks.  Babies lose weight after birth.  It should be 7% of their birth weight or less.  It can be up to a 10% weight loss.  More than this and it’s very important to get immediate help from an IBCLC and your doctor to figure out if there is an issue with breastfeeding (even if you aren’t having any pain).  If you received IV fluids during labor baby may lose more weight than if no IV fluids were given.  Baby should be back up to birth weight by 10 days, 2 weeks at the latest.  If baby is not back up to birth weight by 2 weeks it’s important to see an IBCLC right away to assess for any breastfeeding issues.

Who was the biggest help to you postpartum?

If you live in the Oklahoma City, Mustang, or Yukon area and need breastfeeding help or would like to attend breastfeeding classes please see my website for more information.  You may also contact me here.

What to Expect When Your Baby is 2-7 Days Old

2to7days

Whether you are breastfeeding or not your breasts will begin to transition from colostrum to mature milk at about 2-5 days postpartum.  This post is geared toward breastfeeding mothers.  If you choose to feed artificial breast milk (formula) it’s a good idea to manage the swelling in your breasts with expressing your milk to comfort for the first few days and slowly expressing less milk each day after the first couple of days to prevent mastitis (a painful breast infection which can cause you to be very sick).

To learn more about getting breastfeeding off to a good start and know what to expect in the first two hours postpartum please see my earlier post in this What to Expect series.  You can also learn more about what to expect that first night home from the hospital (regardless of the timing of that due to a normal vaginal birth, surgical birth, or bringing a preemie home) here.

In the first 24 hours after birth, your baby is receiving colostrum which is a thick breast milk that is extremely high in antibodies and vitamins because baby has such a small tummy.  The average a baby receives is about 0.35-3.68 oz in the first 24 hours (based on a 7 lb 8 oz baby) (Source: Counseling the Nursing Mother, Fifth Edition).  Your body begins producing this liquid gold breast milk during pregnancy and it protects baby against bacteria and helps jump start baby’s immune system and GI system to living in the world outside of the womb.

Beb mamando

Sometime in the first 2-5 days your body will begin producing more milk as it begins transitioning to mature milk.  I don’t like to use the phrase “milk coming in” because colostrum is also breast milk.  It’s all important and vital to baby’s survival and optimal growth and development.

You may notice some engorgement in your breasts at this time.  Not all mothers experience this and those who do notice varying degrees of this engorgement and time that it lasts.  It typically resolves in about 2 days but it may take about 7 days after milk transitions for it to resolve but it will get better each day.  Not all of this fluid in your breasts is breast milk.  Much of it is lymphatic fluid and blood from which milk is synthesized.  Like if you have an injury, ice packs can be very helpful after a feeding to help take this engorgement down.  The very best way to resolve this is by putting your baby to your breast frequently-a minimum of 8-12 times per day, many babies like to nurse more frequently.

ping pong ball.jpg

Your baby’s stomach has increased to the size of a ping pong ball (like in the picture above).  Baby will take an average of 14-19 oz per day of breast milk.  Your milk will slowly transition over the first two weeks postpartum but the components quickly resemble those in mature milk.

Things to Watch For:

  • Baby should be on the breast 8-12 times per 24 hours (or more frequently).  Feedings may last 7 minutes up to an hour or possibly longer.  Expect to spend lots of time feeding your baby and recovering from birth.  Your baby will get more efficient at nursing over time.
  • You should notice your milk increasing in volume and transitioning between day 2-5.  If by day 5 you do not notice your milk increasing in volume or baby has lost more than 10% of birth weight (7% is the number where we really start watching babies closely but if you received IV fluids during labor your baby may lose more) contact your doctor and your baby’s doctor right away and seek help right away from an IBCLC. 
  • Follow the care instructions from the hospital regarding cord care, body temperature for you and baby, and other discharge directions.
  • If you have any breastfeeding questions contact a breastfeeding professional right away.
  • Baby’s stools should become more green in this timeframe as your milk transitions.  Baby should have at least 1 wet diaper in the first 24 hours, 2 the second day, 3 the third day, and so on until baby is having at least 6-8 wet diapers and 3 yellow seedy poopy diapers by the end of the first week. Baby’s stool should be the consistency and color of French’s mustard with sesame seeds in it (the seeds are the curding milk from digestion).
  • Skin-to-skin contact helps babies to breastfeed better.  Many issues can be resolved by making the breast a happy place to be even if baby isn’t latching.  Getting help from a breastfeeding professional is also very important in this process.  If you don’t feel the care plan that you and your professional work out together is working you can always seek extra help or seek a second opinion.  Like doctors, breastfeeding professionals all have different areas of expertise and unfortunately not all are on the same page with evidence-based information because we are continually learning more and more about breastfeeding.

 

What did you find most helpful in the first 7 days postpartum?

If you have breastfeeding questions in the Oklahoma City, Mustang, or Yukon areas I am happy to help.  I offer breastfeeding classes and consultations.  You can find out more on my website or contact me here.

Wearing a Newborn

babywearing-newborn-oklahoma

Newborn babies are so tiny and precious.  There are a few things we need to watch out for when wearing them.  It’s important to keep in mind that they start out so tiny but grow SO rapidly (doubling their lowest weight by 6 months and tripling by a year).  A carrier that would fit a newborn well will not fit a 6 month old unless it’s a less structured carrier that you have to form to fit the baby.  It’s of special importance to be sure that the carrier supports baby’s legs and hips well, spine, and neck to set baby up for the most optimal circumstances.  While carriers can’t be directly attributed to causing hip dysplasia we do know that baby’s hips are cartilage until they are toddlers and that the femur cartilage is harder and will win in a battle.  Any wear and tear can cause issues down the road-whether this is immediate or when your child is very old or somewhere in between.  I promote best practices so all of my posts reflect this.  Best practices include supporting the spread squat positioning mentioned on the Babywearing Institute’s page here.  And in Dr. Evelin Kirkilionis book A Baby Wants to Be Carried: Everything You Need to Know about Baby Carriers and the Advantages of Babywearing (available on Amazon and through other book suppliers and book stores-link is an affiliate link to Amazon and funds received through the affiliate link helps purchase homeschooling books for my children’s education).

mshapenewborn

I have traced my newborn daughter’s legs and bottom in this picture.  This wrap is supporting the spread squat position.  You can see how her body makes a capital M shape.  In this position her femur is sitting in the ball and socket of the hip per the research done by hip dysplasia doctors in Germany.  She does not have hip dysplasia but if she did this would be the position they would keep her in because they have determined that this is the best possible position for baby’s hips to be in to heal if baby does have an issue.  I’m exhausted in the picture and it’s not my favorite of me by a long shot but my daughter is only 2 days old in this and she was enjoying an wonderful nap on me.  She is close enough to kiss and the back of her neck is supported by the carrier being tight and smooth on her neck.  The carrier is smooth across her back and if this shot was taken sideways you could see the c-shape curve that a newborn’s spine is in.  (She should be straight up right but had a tendency to lean-I could have further supported her head and body by pulling one of the sides around the back of her head to support her more).

too loose AdobeStock_73712092.jpeg

This is a stock image.  The mother and baby are beautiful but this wrap is MUCH too loose.  It’s natural to snuggle and cuddle your newborn however I think this mom doesn’t feel very secure and in all images that I saw of this mother and baby she’s pulling her baby closer.  This can easily be adjusted by tightening the carrier by pulling very snuggly when wrapping the carrier (I will demonstrate this in a video in a later post).  The shoulders and arms are also very loose and the wrap is likely to slip down mom’s arms.  This is why in person help with a carrier is very important because once you FEEL and SEE how it’s supposed to be on your body you will always get it right and you are able to apply the feeling to any carry that you do.

This same looseness can occur with other carriers such as a ring sling, mei tai (I don’t recommend most mei tais for newborns though because they have to be adjusted quite a bit and don’t support the spine as well because of this unless they’re specifically made to size down to a newborn), or a soft structure carrier at any age or stage.  This looseness is not recommended no matter how old your baby is.

cspineroxysling10814

My daughter is a week old in this photo. She is in a ring sling.  This picture shows the c-shape curve better (I have traced it to point it out better).  Her chin is off of her chest so she can breathe but the carrier is flexible so that her spine is allowed to do what it needs to do.

Now that we know more about what position baby should be in let’s talk about newborn carriers specifically.  These are my favorite carriers for newborns (with links back to my previous posts about these classes of carriers):

  • Ring Slings (not pouches)
  • Wraps-especially the front wrap cross carry
  • Gauze or hybrid wraps
  • Possibly stretchy wraps if they are wrapped very tightly (I don’t recommend them after 12-15 lbs though because baby’s legs will start to pull down out of the spread squat position and baby will become too heavy to stay in the right position on your body-they should NEVER be worn in a back carry)
  • Mei Tais that are specifically designed to adjust down both vertically and horizontally so that it fits snuggly around a newborn (no fabric going below the knee and fabric emulating the tightness from my first picture above).
  • Some infant soft structure carriers.  There should be absolutely no gapping between the back of your baby’s neck and the carrier.  If there is baby needs to grow larger to fit in the carrier well.  Many manufacturers of soft structure carriers say that baby can fit in the carrier from birth however there’s often not enough support until baby is a couple of months old.

If you are in the Oklahoma City area and would like some hands on help to prepare for wearing your newborn during pregnancy or after your baby has arrived please feel free to contact me or check out my website.

What is/was your favorite carrier for a newborn?

What to Expect: The Realities of the First Night Home

firstnightreality

This picture for today’s post is meant to be ironic.  This picture depicts what society says our newborn is supposed to be like.  We prepare a fancy nursery and bring our perfect baby home and we wear white clothing and the baby never messes up those clothes or our clothes with spit up or poop…baby sleeps so soundly while we snuggle in a lovely rocking chair while our spouse dusts, vacuums, and keeps the rest of our lovely everything-white house pristine.

This isn’t reality.

I’m going to tell you a little story, not to scare you at all, but to hopefully provide an example that your first night home won’t be like.  I hope this post will help you prepare better than we did and have expectations in place before bringing baby home (or if you deliver at home you still have a first night at home).  I also highly encourage you to take a quality breastfeeding class, especially one that talks about expectations and realities because preparing in this way has been proven to support breastfeeding and increase the initiation and duration of breastfeeding.  If you’re in the Oklahoma City area be sure to check out my class details and register here.

korvergoinghome

This adorable baby is my second son.  I can’t find my first son’s going home from the hospital picture to help illustrate my story but we can pretend that this is my first son anyways for sake of the picture (they used the same car seat at least!).

My first son was born on a Friday.  He was never able to latch on in the hospital so he was given formula (we didn’t know any alternates at the time and no one told me that there was an alternate to pumping that is more efficient with colostrum-hand expressing).  I was sent home with no pump, nothing.  I did have instructions when we were released Sunday morning to call a doctor the next day to have his tongue tie clipped and hopefully he’d start being able to nurse.  We sent my parents to pick me up a manual pump so I could try to get my mature milk to come-at the time the term “milk come in” was really descriptive of the situation because I never got even a drop of colostrum out with the hospital pump even though I leaked on my nursing pads and had drips on my breasts.  Things got real when they headed home.  All of a sudden my milk started increasing in volume enough that I was getting a little bit in the bottle.  My son got his first tastes of breast milk and I was changing out bottles so my husband could feed my baby and I could keep pumping milk.  This went on forever because he didn’t want to take formula anymore after having my breast milk.  Finally we tried to settle and go to bed and my son woke up from a nap and wouldn’t go back to sleep.  He kept screaming and nothing would calm him.  We tried walking around, bouncing him, giving him more milk.  He just wouldn’t calm down.  By 2 AM I called my mom frantically asking if it was ok to put my son in his carseat and let him sleep.  At the hospital they drilled so much that it wasn’t safe to let baby sleep ANYWHERE but laying flat on their back and we were scared new parents.  We ended up putting him in his carseat and taking a 40 minute round trip in the car where we both were so exhausted.  I don’t know when we ever got to sleep that night or for how long.  Things got better after that night but I will always remember feeling so helpless and awful that I couldn’t calm my son at all.

Mother with her newborn baby

Realities

If you have a hospital birth you’ll be coming home between your baby’s 2nd and 5th day (depending on if you had a vaginal or surgical birth).  If you had your baby at home your first night will be after your baby is born and you’re all tucked in.  In this case your baby may be a couple of hours old or almost a day old by your first real night depending on when your baby was born.  Regardless, at some point you will have your first night home on your own at some point without a call button for a nurse to help with latching or to help you calm your baby.  Reality sets in when you are in this position.

Your baby will nurse frequently day and night.  Your baby will nurse about every 2-3 hours day and night with maybe a 4 hour stretch at some point between the beginning of one feeding and the beginning of another.  Many babies take 20-30 minutes to nurse, some take an hour.  All of this is within the range of normal.  Every 2-3 hours is just a guideline dividing  up the average 8-12 times per day that baby needs to nurse and some babies will nurse every hour.

Beb mamando

Your milk may be increasing in volume as soon as you get home.  This paired with your baby’s stomach increasing in size, your baby wanting that extra milk, and everything that comes with these things means that you may be experiencing some engorgement and discomfort.  It’s normal for engorgement to happen and it’s normal for it not to happen.  If you experience engorgement it’s important to remember that this is more than just milk.  Other fluids are in your breasts including blood and lymph and if you had IV fluids you may have other fluids resting in your breasts and feet as well.  This can be very sore.  Frequent feeding, ice after feeding, and heat before feeding to encourage milk to flow are usually the best remedies at this time.

Your uterus may be sore from contracting down to its normal size.  When you are nursing oxytocin is released which helps contract the muscles to release your milk and your uterus.  You may also be tender from delivery, especially if you had a tear or a c-section.  Nursing frequently helps your uterus to contract down to normal size quickly though and you can talk to your doctor or midwife about pain relief options if you’re interested.

It’s normal for your baby to wake up frequently.  It’s also normal due to hormones for you to sleep more lightly.  Nursing mothers often start feeling an intense need for a lot of water which means you may be getting up as frequently to go to the bathroom as you were in the late days of pregnancy.  All of this does get better over time and there are some things that you can do to help prepare for all of these things.  Knowing is half the battle though, right?

Dishes may pile up, laundry may pile up, try to put those things out of your mind.

Newborn

Here are some tips for making the first night home easier on yourself:

  • Have everything at hand: snacks, water, your cell phone, a remote for the TV if you wish, a book, etc.
  • Have a lot of pillows handy to help you position yourself and your baby during the night while you’re nursing.
  • Babies often spit up when they’re burping-keep extra burp cloths at hand.
  • Keep diapers nearby.  When your milk is increasing in volume your baby will also start having higher output…pee AND poop.  You may consider keeping an extra sleeper or two close by as well in case of a blowout.  They seem to like to happen during the night.
  • Prepare for baby to sleep in proximity to you.  Babies are more comfortable sleeping near mom because they’re biologically wired to be near mom.  For more information on normal sleep behaviors for newborns, infants, toddlers, and children the book Sweet Sleep is great to read.  The book starts off with quick information for how to prepare your bed for a safe night of sleep in your bed with your baby before you can read more information in the book to do a full set up.
  • Get the bathroom ready.  Have pads on the counter so you don’t have to fumble around.  Consider having a nightlight so you don’t have to turn on a bright light when you’re tired, waking yourself up more.  Keep your peri bottle handy and any other comfort measures as well.

Some other ideas to help during the day and night:

feedingcues

  • Babywear!  Skin-to-skin contact especially helps regulate and stabilize your baby’s body temperature, organize sucking, regulate breathing, comfort baby especially if your baby has gas or is in pain from medical procedures (always check with your doctor to be sure babywearing is safe after a medical procedure-it usually is but not always), allow you to be hands free to sit back and take a nap during the day, reduce stress in your baby because baby doesn’t have to cry (crying is stressful for babies, it isn’t a way to “exercise their lungs”), and also helps you recognize and react to early hunger cues which builds trust with your baby.
  • Call on your network!  People usually offer to help-call them!  Our society, at least in the states, is so against asking for help but they offered so take them up on it!  Let them run to the store or let them hold the baby while you take a shower or take a nap, just make sure they give you baby at early feeding cues.
  • If you are having breastfeeding issues go back to the basics.  Work on getting a deep latch or go back and read my post about what to expect in the first two hours, especially watch the breast crawl video.  Babies in the first couple of weeks especially have very active reflexes to help them breastfeed.  Take advantage of these if you’re having any breastfeeding issues.
  • Call on lactation support if you are having breastfeeding issues.  Call a LLL leader, Lactation Educator, CLC, IBCLC, or other breastfeeding support.  If your situation is beyond their scope of practice they can refer you to someone else to get you help right away.  Many areas have a 24 hour breastfeeding hotline.  Take advantage of it!  In Oklahoma you can call: 1-877-271-MILK (6455).  For urgent calls you will get called back quickly by an IBCLC.
  • To prepare in advance, take a good breastfeeding class.

If you’re in the Oklahoma City area be sure to check out my class details and register here.

What was your first night home like?  Tell me in the comments!